How to Love Your Fear of Public Speaking Away

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How To Love your Fear of Public Speaking Away

Even the most empowered person can face fear of public speaking once in a while especially when faced with presenting to an audience.  Statistics say that fear of public speaking is the nations #1 phobia. 3 our of 4 people experience fear of public speaking; so you are not alone.   With this fear comes extreme self doubt.

It is interesting how educated professionals who are amazing at what they do freeze up when asked to speak about what they do.   What is that about?

One of the ways to look at this fear and doubt is to take a look at where you may be over emphasizing a core belief.   This may require some soul searching but it is well worth it.

Here are some common core beliefs that can trip people up when they are in front of an audience and have fear of public speaking.

1) Fear of failure

2) Not good enough

3) Fear of rejection

4)I’m not interesting

All these common beliefs stem from one root, unconditional love or the lack there of.

free yourself from Fear of Public speaking,

Free your fear of public speaking with unconditional love

To begin to get past these core beliefs begin to turn them around on yourself.

What happens if you fail? Can you forgive yourself? 

If your not perfect, can you giggle and be ok with yourself? 

Will you always be there for you if if your not perfect? 

Are you interesting to yourself? IF not then why are you doing what you are doing? 

Are you willing to love yourself no matter what? From there you may start to see some changes in your fear level. 

Now imagine watching a public speaker.  Do you judge them?  Do you put them down for doing a poor job? Do you reject them and walk out? If they are not interesting in their talk do you think they are a worthless person?

Sometimes when we are hard on ourselves we are pretty hard on others. When we are pretty hard on others it’s pretty easy to think they will be hard on us. You can change this around by exploring your level of unconditional love for yourself – you’ll love your self without judgement  no matter what!

Maybe create a morning affirmation such as, ” I love you no matter what ” and say it while you look at yourself in the mirror.   I know this sounds a little corny but do you want relief from your fear?  Are you willing to do what ever it takes?

Unconditional love for yourself will begin to help you release your self judgment and release your fear of public speaking. Like the domino effect If you can cultivate self love then you begin to cultivate love for others and realize we are all in this together and there is no reason to be fearful.

Guess what happens when you take the reins of fear like this?   Your voice opens up to more possibility!!

Exciting stuff!!

Questions?  feel free to comment. I’m happy to facilitate!

All my best,

Rebecca Abraxas, Access Your Voice

www.rebeccaabraxas.com

Project Your Most Influential Voice

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Project Your Most Influential Voiceimages

Have you ever been in a yoga class or been in a potent workshop where the facilitator’s voice is making your skin crawl?   The content may be amazing but the frequency from the voice presenting it is so distracting that you are not able to absorb the information.

Do NOT be that facilitator!

It’s worth taking a look at where you are speaking from so that you have a voice that not only is easeful to listen to but that works with the content you are presenting so you project your most influential voice. The object with any workshop, class or presentation is to engage with your audience, give them valuable information and create a life long connection.

You will not do this if you are speaking with a voice that is hard to listen to!!!! 

1- Give this a try:

Record yourself speaking  your content for about 10-15 minutes then listen to it back.  If you are cringing or bored or agitated when you are listening to yourself, there is a good chance your audience will be too.

Next listen again for the tones you are using. Are they nasally like you have a cold, are they deep, are they high pitch, high pitch and nasally, etc.  Just take inventory.

Awareness goes a long way. Now put your notes aside.

2-Now play with with:

Our vocal instrument has 4 resonant chambers: the Chest, the mouth, the nose, and the head. These chambers help to amplify the voice. Your voice will be more easeful to listen to as well as be more influential when you can speak from balance in these resonant chambers.

When you talk do you feel a vibration in the nasal area, chest are, head area, or mouth? Play here.  If your teeth vibrate your in the mouth. If you can feel a subtle tickle behind the nose you are in  the nasal cavity. If there is a sensation in the chest you are in the chest cavity. If its ambiguous and airy  you may be in the head.    You may notice already that you a combination of these resonant chambers.

3- Practice visiting all the chambers for vocal awareness and to change your speaking voice into its most influential voice.

Start with the sound  ‘Ah’ – Tone this in the mouth then without changing the pitch lower your throat (actually the larynx ) so that you begin feeling the vibration of the tone in your chest. This happens without changing the note you are one.   Now bring the vibration back to your mouth and send the vibration to the nasal area (act like you have a cold and your nose is stopped up). Now back to the mouth.  Finally bring the vibration to your head. The top soft area in the back of your throat lifts and you may feel a tickle in the forehead. Bring it back to the mouth.

Now you can combine these, play with doing two chambers at a time.

Begin to notice which chamber is easier for you to access and which is harder.

These awareness exercises may help you bring  to your speaking voice a balanced fullness that has a comfortable volume. This new balance in your voice will create a voice that people will want to listen to and continue to listen to! It will help you project you most influential voice!

Any questions? Just comment below. I’m happy to help.

Go here for more vocal empowerment tips

 

Below is a video that I thought might be helpful:

He only talks about two resonant chambers – the mouth (he refers to as dark) and the Head ( he refers to as light) and he is discussing a singing voice. However, Singing and speaking cross over and singing exercises can be helpful to the speaking voice as well.  It is a great example of playing and balancing the resonant chambers. Have fun!

https://youtu.be/820AKblt_5Y

Use Grievances To Open The Voice

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Use Grievances To Open The Voice

How many grievances do you still hold on to?   Do you have situations in your life where you believe people have wronged you?  Does it still feel like you would like them to get what’s coming to them?

This is where you can use grievances to open the voice, your voice. 

Use grievances to open the voice

Free, open and expressive

When you think of the grievance does it make you feel light and fluffy inside or does it feel like a heavy pit in your stomach? Heavy? Then there is something there that might be unresolved and unforgiven.  It’s not a right or wrong here its just a choice.  Do you want to continue to have this grievance affect your body and your life?

The heavy pit in your stomach may be an indicator that there is some energetic and physical contracting going on.  This situation may create some tension in your speaking and your singing voice.  The vocal instrument is systemic meaning your thoughts, feelings, belief systems, energy systems and your body all help to create an outcome when you speak or sing.  Do you want the out come to be free, open and expressive  or constricted, limited and small?    Again it is all just a choice. From my experience though free, open and expressive feels  and works a lot better.

So what can you do to let go of these grievances that are halting the possibilities with your voice? 

It seems simplistic and you have heard it before, but what would it take to forgive the person who did the grievance?

Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well. (thank you wikipedia)

So  a few important things here that stand out, change in attitude and wish offenders well.  When you can shift your attitude about the situation you begin to shift the contraction in your body and energy. You will physically feel lighter, your jaw may not feel as clenched and it may be easier to breath. When you wish another well, again, you unlock contraction in your body and energy field. This has a direct impact to open the voice.

Everything is energy. A grievance has a denser energy and distracts you from the greater possibilities of you. That energy sits in your energy field and eventually your body.  A more positive attitude and wishing well to someone has a way less denser energy. It has a lighter energy or frequency that feels better in bodies and energy fields and allows you to tap into greater possibilities to open the voice.

What is your knowing? Singing or speaking with a body that is dense and contracted or light and open?    

Want to let go of your grievances to have more possibilities with your voice? Here is a question you can play with.

What am I making vital about the upset I am choosing?

When you ask this question don’t look for an answer just become aware of the energy that comes up and then make a conscious and intentional choice to let it go. Let the upset go.

To let the upset go journal can help too.  Journal about things you appreciate about the person who the grievance are about even if its as little as the color of their eyes. Then journal about the well wishes you have for them.  These simple journaling techniques can lighten the attitude you have around the grievance and not only free you but free your voice.  How do I know?  I have played with this hundred of times! Getting on stage for me was hard and I tried lots of things to open the voice and feel better on stage. This works like a charm.

An added benefit is that it can give you a sense of oneness that your audience can feel.  Connecting you with your audience whether it is with colleagues or a room full of people.  How does it get any better then that!?

Some more on forgiveness from one of my favorite teachers:

  https://youtu.be/MrHEpxh-84k

Access Your Voice – Connect With Your Audience

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Access YOUR Voice: Connect with Your Audience

When you are speaking or singing in front of an audience are you trying to “get it right”?  Are you  trying to be like the person who is successful in the same career you are attempting to be successful at?

I’ve got another idea.  How about BE YOU and see what happens.

Let go of all the beliefs around what a person in your line of work is “supposed”   to act and be like and ask these questions:

1-What is my authentic voice?

      2-What makes me original?

3-What emotions can I share with my audience?

      4-What would it take to be authentic, original and vulnerable with my audience? 

When you are willing to be Authentic, Original and Vulnerable with your audience  you make a connection with them and 3 things can happen:

1- You become familiar to them

2- They begin to trust you

3- They receive your content

The connection with your audience is the main goal of any event. Its the thing that is going to give you the impact you desire with your work you are sharing.  It is the thing that is going to get people to sign on or buy your product.

So your greatest goal is to access the voice that will get you that connection. You can not connect your audience to YOUR content  by acting like someone else.  Time to pull up the boot straps and face your fear of being YOU in front of hundreds and thousands of people.

What would it take to trust yourself?  Do you have a sense that when you trust yourself you become more trustable and your voice that comes out of your mouth shifts.

When you make the shift to be Authentic, Original and Vulnerable, your voice will shift as well. The tone, frequency, pitch and its openness will shift for the better. You will be able to speak with clarity and confidence and little “mistakes” will be part of the program. When you let go of judging yourself you will start to notice that the audience will judge you less and connect with you more!

So find you in the mix of your inspired work you desire to share with the world and what would it take to be authentic, original and vulnerable with it all.

Best of luck!

 

Bite The Bullet and Get on Camera

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Is it Time to BITE The BULLET & GET ON Camera?

With today’s marketing world, it is becoming apparent that video is essential.

Are you ready for the challenge of becoming a video presence?

If your answer is NO, then you are not alone.  In starting our Video Production company last year, we gave a lot of talks about the value of business. People in the audiences could see the value of video marketing, yet their most prominent question was, “Do I have to be in my video?”

To BE  in my video or NOT to BE in my video

The answer to that question is two fold, yes and no. 

You see, the value of a video is to create a connection, engage  with your audience and build trust with a prospective client.  Being in your video is the best way to do this. When you are willing to be in your own video to represent your business, you give a personal  and emotional connection to your audience on your website, as well as increase the trust factor.

That being said, it is not imperative to be in every video. There are other ways of getting your message across.  One way is to just be the voice on the video and forego being on camera. Some other ways  are to create the content and have a spokes person be the presence of your company, have your clients’ reviews speak about your business or do a white board animation.

Personally, I like to see the person I will be working with in the video.   This summer I was looking for dentists and orthodontists for my sons and none of them had personal videos. The only videos were unengaging explainer videos on various techniques and some review videos with clients.  To see the personality of the person you will be working with is invaluable and  a great tool for prospective clients to make a connection and choose! 

Ahh, How do I bite the bullet and get On Camera?

These days there are many people in the field of On Camera Coaching.   With just several sessions, you may find the ease, confidence and potency you are looking for to represent your business in your video!

Some things you may learn in your sessions are things about posture, body language, breathing, where to look, how to speak and new perspectives to try out.

Some of us On Camera Coaches like to take it a bit further and go for a bit deeper dive.  Some questions I would ask you in a session are, “What are you afraid of that may be outdated?”, “What judgments are you holding from others that are keeping you from getting on Camera?”,  ” Are you willing to be seen?”  ” What Voice/belief do you hear in your  mind that stops you from showing up fully on Camera? , “If you didn’t have to “get it right” or “be perfect” could you get on camera?”

This deeper dive assists the  process of letting go of limiting beliefs and behavior patterns that once released opens up the possibility for more ease, confidence and potency in giving your message ON CAMERA or in front of any audience.

Play in front of the Camera

Another tip I would give is to remember a moment in your life when you were a child playing.  Tune into how carefree, confident and bold you may have been. Now what would it take to bring that same energy to the camera.  We all have engaged in pretend play when we were little. What if we brought some play to our work. Could you regard sitting in front of a camera as a pretend play scenario and have fun. Be Bold. Be Confident.  Be Carefree. Get your message across.

One thing is for sure, within the next few years, marketing videos will be essential for your business. Whether you are in  your videos or not is up to you, However,  it is important to keep in mind that it does make for a more potent marketing tool if you are in it and that there is support out there for you to get comfortable and confident ON CAMERA!

Wishing you the best!

New Year’s Vow- Whose Voice Will Be Most Influential?

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New Year’s Vow – Whose Voice Will Be Most Influential?

We usually equate “hearing voices” with someone that is struggling with a mental illness.  However, I venture to say we  All struggle with hearing voices. This new year which voice will you let be most influential?

What voices do you hear in your head that are destroying the possibility of your greatness?

The problem with most voices in our head is that we think they are ours. Actually most of the voices are not ours. You can test this by making a list of some of the limiting beliefs you have about yourself.  These usually have the form of a fear such as fear of not good enough, fear of singing, fear of being on stage, fear of succeeding, fear of being seen etc. and they usually have seeded long ago when you where a child by an adult in your life.

Once you have a list of the beliefs and fears that run thru your head on a daily basis, get curious. Ask questions like: What is this? Where did this come from, Who said this, Is this my voice or someone elses.  Is this true now?

You see bringing a flash light to the dark corners of our minds can begin to stop the broken record of voices that are playing.  The “off switch” is our awareness and choice. Do you want to keep being influenced by voices of limiting beliefs that are out dated and have nothing to do with this moment in time.

I have come across  a lot of people who have told me they love to sing but they won’t because a choir teacher in elementary school told them something negative about their voice.  So all these years they continue to be influenced by their choir teacher’s voice in their head from third grade! When you point it out like this it sounds absurd doesn’t it?  But we are doing this ALL THE TIME!!

WHO’S VOICE DO YOU WANT TO BE INFLUENCED BY THIS YEAR?  WILL YOU MAKE A CHOICE TO STOP THE BROKEN RECORDS OF PEOPLE FROM YOUR PAST?   

We have an opportunity to create a new moment for ourselves – a new reality for ourselves- every few seconds. Quantum physics has been studying this possibility for years.  You can create a new reality for yourself. The possibilities are endless if you are willing to stop the broken records and not bring old voices into new moments. Once other people’s old voices are brought into a new moment you are creating the same reality over and over and over again – A reality that is limiting your greatness and your possibilities.

WILL YOU CHOOSE TO LEAVE THE OLD VOICES IN YOUR PAST AND CREATE A PRESENT AND FUTURE THAT SUPPORTS WHAT YOU ARE TRUELY DESIRING? 

Rebecca Abraxas, Access Your Voice 

Align With What Matters To YOU to Access Your Voice!

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Align With What Matters To YOU to Access Your Voice!

Have you ever noticed that it is easier to speak about things you know about and that are near and dear to your heart?

Have you noticed the opposite too?  When you are not in align with what matters to you,  have you noticed that your level of expression and the potency of your voice diminishes?

I recently lost my voice. I woke up one day and it was not there, at all!

I began soul searching and a few things came up for me. One, I realized the way I was speaking in my relationship with my children was not in alignment with my heart or my highest self.   Two, I began noticing that I’ve been having a calling with my voice for a long time.. years… that I was ignoring.  Hence,  my body shut my voice down until I got the message.

I finally got it!

I’ve been making changes with my vocal expression with parenting and it feels really good and my boys are responding!  I’ve also made the choice to switch from songwriter to sound healer. Just making the choice my voice has been less strained and so much is showing up in my sound healing sessions.  It is so Cool!!

I want to ask you, Is your voice as open as you would like it? Does your voice feel strained?  Are you able to express yourself fully and feel really good?  Do you feel like a potent speaker or singer? If not, you may want to explore what this is.

Using the questions:   What is this?     What am I most aligned with ?   Am I following my heart? What can I change to be and do what I am most aligned with?

My hypothesis is that Your voice will open up and your body expression will ease fully unfold when you are aligned with what matters to you. You no longer will have to convince people. You no longer will have to use a “Push” energy to get results.

You and your voice will BE the energy of potency. From there you will make your impact in a powerful way!

Cheers!

Rebecca Abraxas, Access Your Voice

Body Language To Make You Go from Good to GREAT!

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Body Language To Make You Go from Good to GREAT!

What if  YOUR body language is what it will take to make your public speaking go from good to GREAT?

There are a lot of techniques to follow. There are ways so move your hands and arms. There are postures to avoid and stances to use for public speaking. However, it is my point of view that YOU have the best body language for YOURmaterial.

That doesn’t mean go up there crossed arm, shoulders slumped and gazing at the floor while you are talking to people. What I mean by YOUR body language is the posture, stance and gestures you use that are natural to YOU when all the static of fear and anxiety are out of the way.  YOUR Body language will be authentic and trustable. When learning  the  “right way” to move and stand it becomes stale and mechanical and uncomfortable to watch. The result? You ultimately loose the connection with your audience you were hoping to make.

YOU  have a unique and powerful way of being in your body and it is unique to your embodiment. Your potent body language  will come thru naturally once you release and move past some of the influences that are locking you up.  In looking at where to put your energy and practice time to become a potent speaker, my advise would be to put it into personal growth and transformation.

What would it take to release the limiting patterns of anxiety and fear?   What would it take to get over stage fright and low self esteem and be comfortable in your body in front of an audience?

The first step is to recognize you want a different experience and the second step is to choose something different.

Once you are on board with yourself that being anxious and scared DOES NOT WORK FOR YOU ANYMORE, you will begin to do what ever it takes to choose something different!

You will begin to get really good at noticing your limiting patterns and when you notice them it’s time to DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.  If your limiting thoughts of “I’m not good enough” or “I suck at this” come whirling up in your mind, have a go to phrase or question to say to your self to shift gears and deactivate the energy of the negative circuitry that is happening in your brain. Each time you  do this you will be creating a new experience in your brain, creating  a new possibility of behavior  in your body and the anxiety and fear will begin to go away and not control you.

Some phrases you can use are:

Clear and Cut                                                         Cancel

Interesting point of view                             What else is possible?

These phrases can be used when you become aware of body reactions too. If you notice you are sweating or trembling use your phrase to begin to shift this response. If you notice your nervous habit of twirling your hair or fiddling with your fingers – 1) bring awareness to it 2)use one of the phrases and 3) begin to change the pattern.

What would it take to use YOUR body language to make your public speaking go from good to GREAT?   A desire to change, a developing awareness of your limiting habits, a strategy to shift the pattern and some patients with yourself. 

Wishing you the best as you dive a little deeper and allow more of the brilliant expression of YOU unfold!