In the past few weeks we talked about getting back to the deepest part of ourselves. We talked about coming back to a playful way to live life and sing and we talked about some exercises to get you there. Today I want to talk a little about what calls you to sing.
This day in age we seem to want a magic pill, class or lesson to “learn” to do everything. Maybe to sing, all we need is ourselves. Throughout time, people have sung in celebration because it felt good. They have sung when they have been frustrated and looking for solution because it felt good. They sang to God in troubled times because it gave them hope and it felt good. Do you sing because it feels good?
Today I am going to ask you to sing your day thru. Sing when you are happy. Sing when you’re mad. Sing when you’re frustrated. Most people I talk to say they like to sing, but they only sing in their shower or alone in their car. If you feel called to sing, make your life a musical. Sing while making dinner, while cleaning, while walking down the hall, etc.
Oh yeah, what will people think? Hmmm. There is a quote from the character Phil on Modern Family: “the minute I stopped caring what others thought was the minute I started having fun.” This has been very true in my life. If you would like to become a better singer, then you have to sing more often and let go of what the peanut gallery thinks.
Freedom awaits you with every song you sing. Freedom in singing and freedom in your life.
So this week go make your life a musical!
The conversation you have with yourself in your own head is extremely important. Just like Baskin Robins ice cream, there are many flavors we can choose to talk to ourselves in. Start to tune in to see what flavor you are choosing each day. While your driving to work, while your doing laundry or cooking; while you are on a run or working out or while you are bathing your children etc. Thoughts are constantly coming to our minds. When we deliberately tune in and take a conscious peak of what “self talk” we are engaging in and what flavor we are doing it in, we are developing a side of ourselves called the “witness”. When our witness becomes strong then we are able to make choices that serve our lives better and empower us to do things we have always wanted to do …like SINGING! Some self talk that we may start to notice does nothing to build us up. In fact, we may start to notice that we are our biggest rival rather then our biggest cheerleader! These negative habits or “flavors ” of talking to ourselves create a domino effect that go from the mind to the physical body, causing contraction around expressing ourselves freely. When self talk is habitually negative we develop beliefs about our selves and our environment that trap us in a safe box. This box is our contracted body and mind that are doing its best to SURVIVE… However, we may be at a moment in our lives that we want more out of life then simply surviving. We want to THRIVE! WE WANT TO SING ! So the next step to WHOLE SINGING I have found in my personal journey, is to develop a witness. Begin with noticing or maybe even journaling each day what “self talk” you witness and what “flavor” you are noticing. Just bringing an awareness to your thoughts can start to ease the contraction ( tightness & fear ) in your body and your mind. Once you have gotten good at witnessing or noticing your thoughts then you can start infusing a more positive flavor. When you lesson the physical and mental contraction in your body and your mind thru allowing more positive self thoughts, habits and perceptions then you are on the road to freer singing! …..NEXT TIME WE’LL TALK ABOUT HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH MUSIC
Today I was reminded of lyrics from ” Rosalie”, one of the songs on my new CD. I received a call from a friend distraught about a family encounter. As we got into our phone call I remembered the words, “….brave enough not to care”. Singing part of the song to him, I realize that this takes tremendous trust, detachment and courage.
When we are hooked into a very familiar negative pattern of “caring ” for our family, which includes giving our advise when it hasn’t been asked for, we are blinded by our habitual nature and believe we are helping when in fact we are sabotaging our own joy and disempowering and angering the other. While it is hard to break old habits and beliefs, it’s worth it to start to see, really see, and then to let go of being hooked in. In essence, we must become brave enough not to care, trusting the flow of other people’s lives, allowing the relationships they are experiencing and releasing the control we want to have. In doing this, I think it will free up a lot of energy for our own self-care and joy, and as a result we are available to really be there when someone is actually asking for help.
Just a thought from my always-thinking mind… “Rosalie” can be heard on Reverbnation or Cd baby, or here at https://rebeccaabraxas.com/?page_id=35.
There is a time in our lives when we have to assess, what’s working and what’s not. For me it became very clear recently. I am lucky b/c I have a great barometer: my children. It became very clear this summer that something was not working when my children were out of sorts and being difficult and having tantrums (even at 8). So …. time to slow down and go with the flow. Since i have slowed down and switched my priorities I have found that life is less stressful and I have time for the little things that make life rich, such as a pool day with my kids or finding the time to decorate the way i want or even really to stop and smell a rose …really. So lately when i take something on, i feel into my body, and ask the question “does this feel stressful in my body, does it feel flowing in my body or does my body tighten up ” This has been an amazing realization to me tuning into the somatic response of my body to see if i am ‘going with the flow ‘ or if i am going against the current. This realization has also helped me put into perspective where i am with my music career, how i am mothering, how i am showing up as a wife and how i am tending to myself. Are you going with the flow …. have fun tuning in and feeling the difference between your body liking an idea of action or not liking it … it has really turned my life around (along with meditating every morning for 20min) …. happy August
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