In my coaching practice one of the things I help people with is getting comfortable with being seen and heard. Ultimately, what I’ve noticed, is that we work on surviving judgment. Interestingly enough, the seed of the fear has nothing to do with anything that is happening in the external world in the present moment.

Judgment prevents you from:

  • Trying…….
  • Having fun……
  • Having relationships…..
  • Expressing yourself…..

When your life is inhibited in these ways, fear, depression, addiction, abuse, worthlessness, feeling unfulfilled to name a few, can take over your life.  If this is experienced long enough, life may feel stuck and not worth living.  Have you ever felt a bit of that? I’ll raise my hand, I sure have at different times in my life.

The hard part is judgment is very prevalent. Unfortunately, I don’t think it is going away any time soon.  So how do you survive judgment and move through the negative effects it can have on you?

How do you survive judgment?

The main thing I have worked on with myself and my clients is self -love.  What I have come to be aware of through the years is self -judgment perpetuates the experience that others are judging you. However if you lesson the self -judgment the amount of judgment coming at you seems to decrease.

Cultivating self- love is a process of forgiving yourself as well as letting go of the strict rules you have for your self.  However, the strict rules you have made for yourself are a program you put in place to survive a confusing childhood.  The problem is these programs are out dated and no longer needed. But you may be still living by those rules.

It is very informative to look at these self rules. If you are willing to dive a bit deeper into them you may see that they are attached to some subconscious limiting beliefs. Uncovering these gems can be so powerful. This is to say, once you are aware of these beliefs, then you can see the seeds of all the judgments you have about yourself and all the judgments you are projecting onto others.  It is fascinating.

Remember the other key – forgiveness? Witnessing these deeper realities about yourself can bring up some shame, guilt and confusion but what if you could forgive yourself instead. What if you could say to yourself, “I forgive you, I love you, thank you, and lets do something different now?”

The next step

Surviving judgment is possible.  With building the witness side of yourself and building unconditional self -love you are almost  there.  So how do you get totally there?

The next step is to take the wind out of the sail of judgment. You give things meaning. You make them significant. So in other words, the next step is to make judgements meaningless and insignificant. Sometimes along the way of gaining more unconditional love this happens automatically.  However sometimes a little tool to remind you is helpful.

The Access Consciousness tool of “interesting point of view” works great! When you feel a judgment coming your way either from yourself or from another person, say to yourself “interesting point of view.” This takes the wind out of the sail of the judgment and totally makes it a point of view that they are welcome to have but has nothing to do with you.

What about adverse moments?

You are going to have days where you are not going to be the perfect person you want to be. There are days where misunderstandings happen and you feel sensitive.  But you can survive judgement even in the most adverse moments if you can follow these 3 keys.

  1. Update your internal program
  2. Remember to forgive yourself
  3. Say to yourself, “interesting point of view”

Reiki and judgment

Lastly, I have to mention that Holy Fire Reiki is a place to explore too.  The energy of Holy Fire Reiki came about to help humans cultivate unconditional love here on earth. When unconditional love is established it takes care of so many other challenges you may be having.

Does it work the same for every one.  It doesn’t. We all are starting from different places, different wound patterns and different pasts.  Holy Fire Reiki will deeply heal and guide you toward a space of unconditional love but each person has their own journey with it and their own pace with it.

Blessings on that journey!


Reiki & Voice Personal Growth Coach

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  1. […] Many times romantic love has been developed from convictions you may have around how you were treated as a child. You may swear to yourself that you will find something different in your life or do it differently.  This always has a condition and a polarity to it, therefore it will always have an element of ecstasy as well as suffering to it. It will always be rooted in JUDGEMENT. […]

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